just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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