this boner is exhausting
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize