I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
