He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
