I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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