I cockslap morals
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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