party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You ate ashes out of my bong
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
