Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize