is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
how drunk are you?
Several
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
