I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
