Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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