you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
