the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
