I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
