he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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