Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
