Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
