i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
