True but thats because hes a fetus.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
