we need to drink 2009 down the drain
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
