At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
