so let's talk penis.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
