Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She tied me up with her honor cords...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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