I am puke
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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