you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
