eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
