How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize