She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
