do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
