you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
