You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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