: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
