I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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