I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
