No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
