Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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