I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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