I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
