We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
