Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
