dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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