the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
