There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
