Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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