Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
