If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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