You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
