So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
