Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
