I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
