the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
