I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She's the barista slut.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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