just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We need a shit load of segways right now
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
