so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
