She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
