dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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