Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
