Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
