Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
