Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Dicks are not precious.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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