This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
