I can tuck mytits in my pants
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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