You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
